The one where he realized he was strange...

I've noticed that i'm strange. here's what my mornings look like:

I wake up, snooze, because everyone knows snoozing is by far the most amazing thing in the world, second only to actually sleeping. I stumble out of bed, and into the bathroom, where i begin to start my showering regimen. It is right after i turn the water on, and place the bath mat on the floor, that i realize that i have left my fucking towel in my bedroom. so i hobble back into my room, grab the towel off the door angerly, and go back into the bathroom. i take my shower slow, and with hot water (as to make sure i can't see myself in the mirror when i get out. by the time the fog clears away after i have returned to the bathroom to do other assorted tasks, i can then see myself, but at that point, i shall be wearing pants).

after the shower, and the return to the bathroom, i start my tasks. i begin with the contact application on the eyeball. this sucks. i hate it, because a little spec of something, or a little piece of fiber from my towel always ends up in the contact case, and onto the piece of plastic i'm about to insert into my eye. so, i try to put it in, but it folds over. i try again, and succeed, but this time, that little piece of dust or fiber is now wedged between my eyeball and the piece of plastic, creating a feeling that can only be described as "like sandpaper on genitals."

The next step is the "doing of the hair" - (might i note, that this is after i go back into my room, apply deodorant, and put on a shirt, because after the "doing of the hair," there is no going back and changing shirts, as there would be a "messing up of the hair" due to the tight t-shirt collar. the only exception to this is if the shirt is of the buttoning variety, and can be undone and redonned without commiting a "hair foul") This is a very intricate process where i apply hair gel to my hands, rub them together a bit for an even glaze on my hands, and then apply to the hair. lately, i've needed to do a bit of extra "rubbing in" to my hair, as it has not been cooperating, so by doing the extra rubbing, it dries the gel, and makes things a bit more manageable, but more of a "dry, frizzy" look.

Now that the hair and the upper seciton of me is completed, i move on to the lower section. I love pants. seriously, i love jeans, and pants, and stuff that covers my whole leg. but, at times, such as 90 degree days, pants are not appropriate. so i strap on a pair of shorts. but i go through the entire day wishing i was wearing pants. i do - that's weird.

footwear really isn't all that interesting, so i'll skip that.

so as i'm walking out the door, i give myself a quick glance just to make sure things are in place. usually, i'll frown at my hair, and grab a hat, and keep that on for the rest of the day, when i will continuously take off and put back on, which causes the hair on the front of my head to all come to a point, so that when i take off my hat i have a nice little V of hair on my forehead. extremely stunning.

that was fun - hope you enjoyed.